That One Time I Chose Lust Over Love

So I am about four dates in with two different women who I’ve been talking to for over a month and a half. To make this easy I will separate them by Woman A and Woman B.

Woman A and I had a very strong emotional connection. Our dates were long conversations where we sit in the car and just laugh and talk about everything in life. We would take walks at the park and even a date to the grocery store, which I thought was odd at first but in the end turned out to be a fun time. This woman was very attractive, smart, and to be honest I didn’t really think I had a chance at first. Our languages of love is where we had a slight disconnect. Because during our dates, there was very little to no touching at all which I perceived as her not being very interested in me.

Woman B and I had a very strong physical attraction to each other. And that was it. When we would talk about other things, they would lead to arguments or us not wanting to engage with each other. And this happened over everything, but the physical was so addicting that it (for the moment) would get us through.

Somehow someway, I scheduled dates by accident on the same day. And seeing how this was the fifth date, which is often the breaking point of “should we talk relationship or not”, canceling was not an option. So I had to choose.

Woman A had told me to come over to her place and Woman B offered to come over to my place. In my mind, I’m thinking, “Wow it would be great to go over to Woman A’s place. I believe it’s just going to be a good conversation and that’s it.” While with Woman B, I know it would be a great time regardless. So I sent a text 30 minutes prior to the time I was supposed to be at Woman A’s house, stating that “something has come up and I can’t make it”. Then I sent Woman B my address, put my phone on silent and waited till I heard my doorbell ring.

Woman B comes over, and soon into dinner our conversation turns into an argument that lasts about an hour. What about? It’s not even important because this is supposed to be a good time. Two hours into the date, we decide that it’s best for us to not do this and definitely not see each other again. So she leaves.

I then go to grab my phone, turn it over, and see that there’s 13 missed calls and 10 messages. They’re all from Women A, asking if I could call her, if I could just explain and that I just did not understand how hurt she feels in this moment. So I immediately give her a call and she picks up and is just very quiet.

She asked me what happened and I gave some, stupid excuse which she absolutely did not believe. What she did say is how she moved mountains to make this date happen. She got a babysitter for her daughter and got her all squared away and she also got someone to look over her uncle who she cared for because he lived with them but his health was declining. She said brokenheartedly that she couldn’t trust that this wouldn’t happen again and that me doing this showed her everything about my character. That would be the last time we spoke.