That One Time Her FaceTime “Wasn’t Working”

So after talking with this woman for what seemed like forever, I kept asking the question of, “When would we meet for our first date for the first time?” And all I kept getting in response was, “Work has been really busy. I’m a writer for the Screen Actors Guild and there’s been so much going on.” But she did have time to talk over the phone for 30 to 45 minutes at a time, just not on FaceTime apparently.

I was over just conversing for long periods of time on a phone call without being able to see a person in real life. So I finally told her that if we don’t meet this week, then I think it’s best we just move on because I’m over the excuses. She then says, “Okay let’s meet tomorrow at 5PM” and now I’m excited.

I show up to the restaurant at 4:30PM and the hostess asks me if I prefer to sit on the patio or inside but I chose to wait until she got there so she could decide considering it was pretty hot. So I stand outside the restaurant waiting for her to arrive and sent her a message at 4:55PM to see if everything was good. She explained she was running about five minutes late but was going to be there. I said okay and started scrolling on Instagram while I continued to wait. At 5:03PM I get a text that says she’s here and that she’s walking up to the entrance. But I look around and still don’t see her so I go back on my phone.

Suddenly I hear a woman say, “Hi you must be Eric.” When I look up, I see the woman that’s saying my name but I have no idea who this person is. The look on my face went from “Who are you?” and then turned into “There ain’t no way.” After a long pause while we just stared at each other, I realized she was my date. She said, “I know what you’re thinking. That I don’t look exactly like my pictures on my profile, but trust me it’s me.”

I pull out my phone and say, “Hey listen this person that I met on the dating site is not you. And if it is, then what you’re doing is wrong.” She said, “It is me but it’s me from eight or seven years ago. So things have changed a bit. But trust me, no one has ever a complained.” So I replied, “So you do this often?” And she said, “It’s just me from a different time. I was 35 then and I’m 43 now.” And to be very honest, that’s exactly what caught me off guard. The woman on the profile was definitely a lot lighter in weight, and again I’m not shaming anybody, but I didn’t sign up for this person that I’m meeting in real life.

The waitress comes outside and says, “So did you guys decide on patio or inside?” And she responds, “We’re going to sit on the patio.” I then said, “Ma’am I will not be staying with you on this date. If this is what you do, then you should have no problems meeting somebody else. You have a good day.”

And that was the first, and of course last, time I was ever catfished on a date. And I’m not going to say a full catfish, but this is where I learned about how you can alter the angle of certain pictures and edit them for your social media profiles.